Man, oh, man. Where do I even begin? The May theme for IWSG re highs and lows accurately reflects how my April is going. From the weather not being able to decide if it is winter or summer to crazy chaos at the day job, to my becoming the sole provider of the family- this month has been a roller coaster of emotions and contingency planning. Going into May, I am still reeling. My first gut instinct was that I needed to start applying for new jobs. My commission-based job even in the best months barely made half of what he makes. And to say that commission hasn’t been great for a bit now would be an understatement.
But I haven’t finished my PMP Certification which would go a long ways toward me getting paid what I am actually worth. Plus, I’m so so close to approval for the surgery (all I have left is the surgeon’s consult then final approval from insurance.) I cannot throw out all I’ve worked for in hopes of getting a better-paying job. Statistically, my husband is more likely to get a new job than I am.
So we did a quick evaluation of our financial situation and agreed to stay the course but up the speed with which I am working towards those things. I also decided to finish up some merchandise listing on my site and to run The 30 Day Marketing Challenge and the DreamMaker Challenge in June, while offering up to 50% on everything in my store.
We have a razor-thin budget that will only last us 3 months if I don’t bring in more $$ and I would be crushed if this crisis completely derailed everything we’ve been working so hard for. That was struck home even more when I found out my company laid off a ton of people last week. The manager thought she was making me feel better by telling me that “you are not affected”. Yeah, sure, not affected at all. I’ve worked at enough start-ups to know that sudden and unplanned layoffs going into your busy season is not “what’s best for the company”. There is so much more they aren’t telling us. So I have to push everything in place as fast as possible because if I get laid off too?
Needless to say- still spinning contingency planning. But I REALLY feel like this month has just been this:
But I’m not Legolas.
#IWSG May Question of the Month
Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!
Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer – aim for a dozen new people each time – and return comments. This group is all about connecting!
Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!
Every month, we announce a question that members can answer in their IWSG post. These questions may prompt you to share advice, insight, a personal experience or story. Include your answer to the question in your IWSG post or let it inspire your post if you are struggling with something to say.
Remember, the question is optional!
May 4 question – It’s the best of times; it’s the worst of times. What are your writer highs (the good times)? And what are your writer lows (the crappy times)?
This is so interesting as my Facebook buddy Devani Angeli shared a pretty cool thing that all creatives can really connect with, I think. And it really reflects the theme for this month.
What they don’t show you is that you go through this every. Single. Time. And sometimes you fall in the swamp and have to swim out, which also super sucks. And sometimes after you get out you are so coated in the muck that you can slip right before the finish and slide back in. Then have to clamber back out and fight through back to that peak “This is one I’m Proud of”.
I go through this process with every project- books, courses, creating challenges, building marketing plans, everything.
Creatives are not being melodramatic when we say that we put our blood, sweat, and tears (and money) into our projects. Authors calling books their book baby are not being hyperbolic. I’m a mom. I know.
But as brutal as most of the journey is, when it’s complete it is such a relief and so much pride. I would argue that the worse things go in the middle, the more rewarding the completion feels. That is such a rush.
I keep going back. I can’t help myself.
And I think part of the reason that I am struggling to re-do all my work is that it is not as much about the creative journey as it was. It is now just repackaging what I’ve already done.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!
I can SO relate to that graph . . . and to your situation. Work v writing. The stress of having to prove yourself worthy of taking that risk, the worry that you’ll never make ends meet. But it can, AND does happen. I’ve done bother – lived off my writing income and had to bellycrawl back into the workforce. You do what you gotta do . . . as long as you keep those creative fires burning!!
Wow, what a difficult and scary situation you’re in. I hope things smooth out for you and your family soon and that there aren’t any more layoffs. Good luck with everything! Thanks for sharing the Emotional Journey graph. It made me laugh because it’s so true.
Thank you for those kind words. It is appreciated.
And I laughed when I first saw it for the same reason. It really is true about any creation process. Even when we are “doing all the work” ourselves, we are definitely not alone. Even when we feel completely alone in our process there are loved ones around us to keep us from quitting.
Dang, sounds like you’ve had a rough time of it lately. I hope things work out for you and your family, and the stress level drops. I relate to that graph, as a lot of time I find myself in that pit. I just hope that someday, I reach the next peak and look back on something I can be proud of!
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